There are times where I just want to sleep all the time because I’m so tired of my fucking life. Then there are times where I don’t want to sleep because I think way too much and I can feel the pain so much. I fucking hate my life. I am so fucking done trying. I’m done forcing someone to care and listen to me because I know they don’t want anything to do with me. I just want to die so the people I love don’t have to deal with such a fucked up girl like me.

You know what’s frustrating? Trying to kill yourself but something always gets in the way. I always fail at everything that I want to happen. Just this once, I want to kill myself without any distractions, without any fears. I just want to go away. Why is that too much to ask for? I just want the pain to stop. Please.

I look at myself in the mirror. I see all the flaws. I see how ugly I am. Tears fall because I know I’ll never be pretty. I’ll never be good enough. I cry harder. I scream to myself, “why am I like this!” I question myself, why, I’m the way, I am. I’m a failure. I’m ugly. Worthless. Useless….